Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Randomize