Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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