The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I think I died a long time ago.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Randomize
