Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
