ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
he puts the penis in happiness.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
