So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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