I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
