Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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