sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
