i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
