my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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