well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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