I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
