Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
