I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
