I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Randomize
