weddingsv make me drug and hornr
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
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