I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
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