i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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