I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
