ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
