Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Randomize
