there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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