If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
