Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
