Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
