you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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