is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
