One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
you inspire me to be a worse person
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
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