My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
