Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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