how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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