evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
