I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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