my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize
