Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
