Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
