Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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