doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
