hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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