I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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