I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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