just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
