he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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