Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
My boob is missing a layer of skin
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
