so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
