I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
