So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
