porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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