Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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