uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
