I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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