did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
