i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
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