i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
they're like a gay fantastic four
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Randomize
