Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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