its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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