She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
