at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
