McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
