His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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