There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
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