my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Randomize
