I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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