i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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