Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I would ride that face into the sunset
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
